


The Spider and the Fly

by drarrydarling



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humour, I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drarrydarling/pseuds/drarrydarling
Summary: Draco doesn’t understand Muggle television.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	The Spider and the Fly

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little idea that didn’t fit on Instagram anywhere- I’ve reallyyy loved this years series of I’m A Celebrity and wrote this while watching the semi-final! Hope you enjoy :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: HP belongs to JKR and any associated publishers/corporations, it is (unfortunately) not my intellectual property.
> 
> I took the title of the fic from the song of the same name by the Rolling Stones (released in 1965), although it was originally a poem by Mary Howitt, published in 1829! Absolutely nothing to do with the fic, I just needed a song that fit :)

“Harry. Harry. _HARRY_.”

Dropping the plate he was washing, Harry grabbed his wand off the kitchen table and dashed into the front room, stomach dropping at the terror in Draco’s voice.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” He shouted, eyes darting around the room frantically before landing on Draco, who was sat on the sofa with his arms wrapped around his knees.

“Those Muggles...they’re eating _bugs_!” He wailed, face ashen, wide eyes trained on the television.

Harry froze, lowering his wand slightly. “ _What?”_

"I wasn’t really watching, so when I heard testicles I thought they were joking, but I’ve just looked up and that man ate a bug. A _bug_ , Harry! What the fuck is wrong with these people?”

“God, Draco,” Harry sighed, collapsing onto the sofa beside him. “Don’t scream like that! I thought something bad had happened.”

“Something bad _has_ happened! Were you not listening? That man ate a- oh _Merlin_ , Harry, they’re doing it again!”

Slapping a hand over his mouth, Draco stared in horror as the man on screen began chomping on a cockroach, the look of revulsion on his face not dissimilar to the one on Draco’s. Turning his head slowly, he fixed Harry with a horrified look. “Are you not seeing this?”

“It’s just a Muggle entertainment show, Draco, they-”

“Entertainment? _Entertainment_? Since when is eating _bugs_ a form of entertainment?”

“It’s...I don’t know, making a public spectacle of someone I suppose, people always love that...”

“And yet _we_ were the ones who were forced into hiding? When Muggles are out here, eating bugs and...and... _genitalia_ , and putting it on the tellyvision like it’s normal? It’s repulsive!”

“You have to admit, it is kind of funny.”

“Funny? Jokes are funny, Harry, eating crickets is not.”

“There’s normally an arsehole or two on there as well, I think...”

“Oh, don’t be so vulgar!” Draco groaned, flapping a hand in his face.

“ _You_ shouldn’t be such a prude”, Harry laughed in reply, catching his wrist and pressing a kiss to his palm. “It’s just a show!”

Draco shook his head. “It’s absolutely _awful_. People really enjoy this? It makes me fear for the world, Harry, it really does.”

“Just turn it off then! I’ve got the remote here, I’ll do it-”

“No, wait!” Draco blurted, not looking at him. “No... you can just leave it on, thank you.”

Harry, biting his lip to hide an amused smile, paused.

“You want me to leave it on?” 

Draco said nothing, just nodded his head slightly, cheeks red.

“I’ll give you this then, shall I?” Harry teased, placing the remote on the sofa cushion beside Draco. “It might even inspire you...you could _finally_ cook for us at Christmas.” 

He snorted, picturing Draco with a mixing bowl full of bugs. “Ooo, some lovely beetle biscuits, or a _caterpillar cake_. Oh, wait...”

Trailing off- and with a sudden urge to pop to M&S- he stood up, planting a kiss on Draco’s head and laughing to himself as he was dismissed by an absentminded hand, Draco once again transfixed by the screen- and bugs- in front of him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Has anyone else been watching the show this year? If you have, let me know who your favourites have been! Unlike Draco, I’m very happy to admit that this is one of my favourite programmes, & I get very excited for it every year!! 
> 
> I have lots of mini headcanons like this (too random/short to share on Instagram) that I should probably put into a series, but I don’t know how to do that so I’ll just be posting them all individually like the grandma I am :) 
> 
> More Christmassy ones coming soon!


End file.
